I Can’t

“I do want to forget you, I really do….. its just that you have been my life and if you’re asking me to stop thinking about you, you’re asking me to die.”

All I want is to have my life with the one that I love. This may look too simple, but this is the most difficult thing to achieve. I just want to love and to be loved, to be with someone you love and loves you back. I just want a simple life but destiny gave me the most complicated situation that I never wanted to happen, I am loving someone I know will never love me back.

I love someone who loves someone else. I have been loving a person who has someone to treasure. I’m just hurting myself by being with him knowing that I can’t touch him the same way I want to hold him. I am slowly taking my breath away as I listen to the stories he boasts around. My heart wants to stop pumping to ease the pain I feel while watching them together happy at each others arms. I silently bleed to death as I look at his face contented of what he already had. With all that pain that I feel, I’m still here, killing myself, for the simple reason that I want to be with him together with all the soreness he’s giving me.

I tried to run away and forget everything. I tried not to look back and continue my life without him. Still, I am staring back to where he stands and runs back to his side whenever I  see him down on his knees. I can’t just ignore him as he cries for help. I can’t close my eyes knowing that he is in pain. It breaks my heart as I try to disregard the tears that runs down to his face.

I may never know the reason why I love him, I may never know the cause why I care for him a lot, one thing is for sure, he is the reason why I want to live. I don’t know the reason nor I will, the basis of what I am feeling right now, but I know inside me, I will always be here for him no matter how painful it is for me to stay.

From the moment we met, I already knew he is the one I will love for the rest of my life. That instance, I vowed to be with him, embrace him in my arms, to keep him safe from harm and to treasure him in my heart. No matter how hard it is to attain, I will be with him, because he is my treasure and he is my life. I swore I will keep him forever together with all the pain, and that promise will last for eternity.